Nu Rave music dominated the line-up at Reading and Leeds this year, most notably in the BBC’s television coverage. Yet again, tired, has-been presenters were pulled out of ‘retirement’ (one radio session a week for £X00,000 is not a real job) in another pitiful attempt for grown-ups to pretend they are cool and ultimately act like children playing follow-the-leader.

Even off-beat underground turned ‘commercial’ artists such as Patrick Wolf were ignored in favour of an unending diatribe of tuneless, badly dressed and usually female singers prancing around on stage looking wasted on Red Bull. The latest versions of ‘S Club Kids’ were paraded before my eyes as ‘bands’ catered to childish crazes and naïve stupidity. Imagine my horror when for an instant, I thought I spied a former classmate from University playing guitar and singing backing vocals for the New Young Pony Club. Fortunately, I was mistaken and I am pleased to say that my old friend is doing much more worthwhile things with his time.

I am all in favour of people having different musical tastes. Whilst there are innumerable artists/bands and musical genres that I generally would rather not listen to, I can ALWAYS acknowledge musical talent and creativity where it is deserved. One example might be KT Tunstal. Personally, I’m not a fan but she’s got more talent in her little finger than the likes of CSS and the aforementioned Pony Club put together. I’d even go so far to say that at least James Blunt can sing in tune (however annoying he might be at times), which is more than I can say for the female singers of these ‘Nu Rave’ bands who are more interested in dancing around like demented lunatics than actually giving a decent showcase of their music.
Even Beth from The Gossip needs to understand that when the focus of your performance becomes you stripping off and prancing about from one end of the stage to the other, whilst attempting to stay in tune and failing miserably (even Britney lip-synchs darling), it actually detracts from your ‘performance’, rather than enhancing it as she seems to think it does (and as irritating wannabe music ‘aficionados’ such as Jo Wiley, Zane whats-his-face, Edith ‘boring’ Bowman, Fern ‘I love everybody’ Cotton blah blah would try to argue). It could also explain the mass exodus of so many former Gossip fans who recalled the band from cool music-nerd events including All Tomorrow’s Parties. Back then, she used to sing. Now, she moans and strips. All the time. Maybe they will remember their point (decent music) when Beth gets it out of her system by launching her own clothing line but even this irks me. I know it’s supposed to be different because she does so much to stand up for feminist issues/gay rights/broader anti-Republican political issues (my favourite type) but this still reeks of corporate commercialism in-line with the likes of JLo and Jessica Simpson. But I digress…

When the overall focus of a genre is more about the ‘fashion’ its followers wear like sheep and the number of glo-sticks revellers can hold at once whilst dancing the running-man, it’s time to step back, accept it for the mediocre ‘fad’ that it is, bundle the lot up with similarly disposable trash like Girls Aloud – who I dare sat will be around long after this horrific phase has passed – and get back to real music where it’s actually about, er, the music. Look nice whilst singing, yes, get your hair done and at times, be a bit ‘out there’ and try to become a style icon – a feat that so few have achieved - but when you favour all of this over the music, I no longer care. And neither should you.
Coming up in my next rant…’Since when did Tuneless Chavs Rule the Airwaves?’